I was a client of Alison Calladine…
I was a client of Alison Calladine Omagh, Northern Ireland for 3 years. I originally began work with her in Chesterfield England. I have a complex childhood history and have a huge fear of abandonment which Alison was very much aware of. We had discussed my fears in depth and at length, with her telling me that whilst ever she breathes, we will meet. We had lots of contact between sessions which she gave from the beginning and participated in. Alison changed towards me in the last month and I had no idea why. She never once discussed it with me, and kept assuring me that contact was ok between sessions because we discussed it in the beginning. In the 2nd to last session, she coldly told me she was taking all contact away, no discussion or explaining why - no transparency at all. I felt so rejected and so upset thinking that I had done something really wrong. I have intense rejection anxiety which again, she knew all about and her lack of transparency and clarity, made me turn this decision into something I had done wrong. She told me very coldly in the last session that I had asked for this because I wanted stability which she could not give. I asked if she was stopping being a therapist and she told me that no, she wasn't, she was keeping working. By this time, I was internally so ashamed and equally distraught. I didn't know what I had done so wrong. I asked if she was ending with her other clients and she firmly with a slightly raised voice said, 'I will not talk about my other clients with you Kelly'! I was so taken aback, I froze. I wasn't wanting to know details of her other clients, I just wanted to know if it was just me. I asked over and over after the session for a reason, and she never gave me an answer. I was so anxious, panicky, a mess - the person who had been there every week and between sessions for 3 years who I thought cared, just cut me completely off like I didn't exist with no answers to help me to process. She was absolutely nasty and cruel in that last session and I was completely blindsided. There's no pain like the pain of the first person you trusted with your story, to repeat everything you told them would destroy you. She was meant to be a trusted person. She used the 'ethics' card on me, telling me it would be unethical to continue, but she would not tell me what was unethical! No transparency, no clarity, no candour, a half hearted apology which made no sense. I had 4 sessions booked in with her, she took 2 away and said I could have 2 to process the end. She made me believe that she cared, I was so fooled. My trust was shattered by this woman! I was completely blind to her damaging side and despite all of this, I 'still' continued to stand up for her and not accept that she was bad. She created dependency, and then punished me for it. Her boundaries were so blurred, but she punished me for it. When she moved to Ireland, she was never transparent about it. She told me she was moving 'online'. I turned up to my first online session and saw her in a new office which she was doing face to face also in. I had to look online to find out why she was online only with me as I was so confused. It broke trust. Towards the end, it became apparent that I have attachment issues which Alison brought to my attention in the 3rd to last session. Following this session, she took away all contact, which triggered my huge fears of rejection and abandonment. Following emails seeking reassurance, Alison decided to end my therapy at my next session - I did not recognise her in this session. I was heartbroken and devastated - she was so cold, gaslighting me and mocking me. The trauma this created was unexplainable. When I searched her, I also found another client has had a similar experience. I have seen the complaint to BACP from this person, and they completely dismissed her trauma by Alison. A damaging experience that I now have personal experience of, and that I absolutely believe to be true. It seems like they protect their own, meanwhile clients like us are being harmed significantly. It has taken a wonderful professional other, to help me build trust again. Despite my mountains of evidence, with my trust issues exasperated by Alison. If clients with attachment issues deserve to be abandoned because of attachment, how can they ever heal the wounds. I urge anyone with attachment issues to be VERY careful if you choose to work with Alison Calladine. I was blindsided and it's left a mark that will take time to heal, to regain trust in others. My new therapist is incredible and exactly what a therapist should be. I have tried to solve my issue with Alison numerous times so that I can move on with no animosity, however, she never answered my need to understand her decision. I am now therefore complaining to BACP as I cannot sit back and allow her to damage another vulnerable client.
16. September 2024
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